I sometimes think i'm quite simple. It's a nice delusion. Things rarely are simple. There's an even better delusion. Things are often simple and people often aren't, we don't like things being simple cause it means we have no other option, we know what we have to do, we just don't like it.. Simplicity.. Efficacy.. Contentedness can be a terrible thing.. I sometimes fear i'd be content being mediocre. Work 9-5 in a job I don't hate but don't love and live in some council flat.. My dad says i'm too clever to just go into some job.. I don't know.. I just don't think I have what it takes to go through university.. i'm terribly unmotivated, i'm trying much harder but it's not easy.. I need more sleep, things are easier with a good nights sleep..
It's scary, I'm almost eighteen.. I'm almost out of school. I am almost going to have to make seriously big decisions.. I hate making decisions, I never want to give a wrong answer, I'm always scared of the wrong answer. I'm so ambivalent it sucks, I need to get better at this, I need definition. Character Definition.
I am going to get better at this :)
No-one likes making big decisions, no matter how good/bad they are at it. Actually scratch that, I don't believe it's really possible to be good or bad at making decisions. People just choose a path depending on their thought processes at the time. Often there isn't a wrong answer, so don't be afraid of that. There are just some pathways that aren't as good as others. But who knows, because amazing things can come from a supposed 'bad' choice, and you never know who you might meet or what lessons you might learn.
ReplyDelete*MWAH* :)